I Will Find You
by LC Rose
Summary: Sesshoumaru finds that time is not on his side as he debates his feelings towards Kagome only to find her gone when he reaches a decision. *COMPLETE*
1. Must Endure

DISCLAIMER: The characters of InuYasha are not mine, they are property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

a/n: This is going to be written around Dokuga LJ's prompts and one-shots. Pieces will be of varying lengths, based upon the prompt. With that said, enjoy the ride!

**Must Endure**

He watched, feeling like the worst voyeur. The winds sent her scent to him, filling his lungs with a burning need. His eyes, sight so keen, traced her every feature and action. His heart kept time with hers and her so _human_ emotions tore at him in ways he'd never known could be possible.

_She will age. She will grow old and die._

For some reason the thought did not bring the reassurance that it once had. At one time, those very words had assured him that soon this obsession, this freak accident, would pass and he'd no longer have to dwell upon it. Now those thoughts brought a sharp stabbing pain to the cold place in his chest where he knew his heart lay.

Turning his eyes away from where the miko walked quietly in a meadow, Sesshoumaru grimaced to himself.

This pain had only increased in the months of his vigil and he knew it was watching her that was the cause. Still, he could not stay away. He _had _to be near her. If he stayed away, his mind went crazy with what could be…

Humans were so fragile. Anything and everything in the world was a danger to them.

_If I declared myself to her…?_

Shaking his head clear once more, Sesshoumaru returned his golden gaze to the focus of his life now. He could not—would not—do such a foolish thing. As he'd told himself a thousand times before, she would die one day. She would wither away, as humans did, and he would be left behind to endure. If such a thing happened, if she returned his feelings, he did not think his sanity would be able to withstand. Better to be left with unanswered questions than an eternity of love lost insanity.


	2. Idle Hands

**Idle Hands**

Inuyasha watched his brother watching _his_ miko. The bastard might think himself being tricky, but there were things Sesshoumaru constantly underestimated—himself being one of them.

Growling quietly, Inuyasha turned and observed Kagome. She was walking through the meadow, ripe with Spring's new green. The sunlight and winds were playing havoc with her hair, brushing it across her dewy skin. Her eyes, even from this distance, radiated pleasure.

Chancing a glance towards Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha saw Kagome's smiled mirrored on the bastard's face. His clawed hands bit into the bark of the tree Inuyasha watched them from. "Never," Inuyasha assured himself.


	3. Never Too Late

**Never Too Late**

He dreamed, during those rare moments of sleep, of startling blue eyes and soft, warming smiles. Sesshoumaru stared hard at the rising sun, wishing the sharp rays of light could burn this problem away as it did the night each new day.

It had been months since he'd laid eyes on the miko, forcing himself to stay away and hoping time would ease the pressure in his chest. It seemed that this self-enforced isolation was to no avail. The miko haunted him wherever he roamed, no matter how far he wandered. He saw the color of her eyes in every brook he passed and clear sky above. He heard the sound of her voice on the winds. He felt the warmth of her smile as the sun shone down upon him. He longed for the feel of her touch…stroking, caressing, and loving only him.

Internally growling to himself, Sesshoumaru turned to face the west. In that direction lay his sanity, his salvation, and his downfall. In that direction Inuyasha stayed close to that human village he favored. And in that direction also resided the woman of his waking and sleeping nightmares.

He could not lie to himself any longer and knew what he must do. The decisions, the questions, the actions and reactions had been weighed within his mind thousands upon thousands of times. There was no other route he could take, no other path he could walk, if ever he hoped to be and feel whole once more. Not bothering to cast Jaken a look, Sesshoumaru took off into the sky, ignoring the startled squawking of his servant.

**

Sesshoumaru had not been surprised when Inuyasha had stopped him from proceeding forward. Nor had he been shocked when the half-breed attacked without provocation. Now the hanyou lay near to broken and bloody, defeated underneath his golden gaze. Tessaiga had reverted to its rusted state a good distance away. "Where is she?" Sesshoumaru demanded to know.

"Gone, you fucker," Inuyasha answered, spitting blood from his mouth as he did.

Inuyasha knew, without asking, exactly whom he was talking about. Interesting. Narrowing his eyes in the whelp's direction, Sesshoumaru took a threatening step forward. He did not believe the hanyou's declaration. The miko's scent still hung heavily within the clearing. He could taste her unique signature in the air and catch the signs in the earth that she had tread here…recently. Had Inuyasha attacked him to prevent him from catching up to the miko? A useless endeavor. Or was there another meaning behind his actions? Inuyasha had been rather careless, more so than usual, with his strikes. It was almost as if he _wanted_ to be slain, the way he had fought.

"Why the fuck do you care, bastard?" Inuyasha demanded to know, bringing Sesshoumaru's attention back to him as the whelp shakily rose to his feet.

Sesshoumaru did not answer, owing the half-breed nothing. Instead, he turned and began following the trail of her footsteps. Her scent and footprints ended at the well in the center of the clearing. Strange. It seemed ordinary, dried up and no longer used. There was a residue of once latent magic to it, but whatever enchantment the well had contained was gone now.

Behind him, Inuyasha retrieved his sword, sheathing it. He could hear the half-breed moving around, following him but from a distance. "She's gone, I told ya! Now fuck off!"

Sesshoumaru ignored the half-breed's crude suggestion to leave. The whelp was in no position to order him. "And when will the miko return?"

This time Inuyasha paused, his scent laced heavily with the human side of his emotions. They were stricken and panicked and Sesshoumaru glanced at the half-breed over his shoulder. Inuyasha's face was contorted with a pain that he could not hide. He gave a careless shrug, trying to not show his agony, but his stance and scent belied the simple, discarding motion.

The hanyou was deliberating keeping him from the miko, Sesshoumaru knew, and the anger within him rose once more. The miko had been here. She _was _here. There were no signs of her being injured. No signs of a fight taking place. The half-breed was not buried in the earth from her anger. She was here and he _would_ see her.

Turning in an instant, Sesshoumaru was before his half-brother once more. His clawed hand wrapped around the half-breed's throat, easily lifting the whelp off the ground. Inuyasha raised his own hands, placing them upon Sesshoumaru's wrist as if to try and free himself, but there was no struggle in the boy now. "She ain't fuckin' coming back, bastard," he choked, his voice sounding broken.

"Explain."

"Why the fuck do you care?!" Inuyasha demanded to know again, his sorrow quickly turning to anger once more. "Kagome never meant anything to you, bastard."

Sesshoumaru began squeezing his throat and did not stop until the half-breed's face was nearly purple from lack of oxygen and his eyes were rolling back in his head. The whelp did fight now; his feet kicking and his claws gouging and swiping uselessly. This struggle meant nothing to Sesshoumaru, though. Only the girl mattered. "She meant more to me than you will ever know, half-breed. And I _will_ find her."

He dropped Inuyasha, using more force than was truly necessary for the task and watched with mild satisfaction as his half-brother hit the ground, skidding several feet away. Inuyasha was on his feet in an instant, one hand rubbing his already bruising throat and the other on the handle of his sword. "She's in her time, bastard," he said scathingly. "The well took her away. There ain't no fucking way you'll ever get to her. You don't even _exist_ in her world."

Sesshoumaru felt shock course through him. While he knew the miko was odd, he had never known she was from a different _time. _And what was this about him not existing? Impossible. He was Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands and the ultimate perfection of youkai in this land. Immortal and unstoppable. No one could defeat him. "I _will _find her," he stated, turning away.

"The fuck you will, asshole," he heard Inuyasha ground out as he left the clearing behind without another word. There was a miko to seek. And he would do whatever was necessary to see her again.

He had to.


	4. Boundaires Reached

**Boundaries Reached  
**

Sesshoumaru followed the movements of the half-breed, a bored look to his face least anyone spy him. Yet again Inuyasha wandered away from the human village he protected to go to the cursed well. The half-breed's sadness, his depression, was almost visible to the naked eye and it was sickening. Sickening because Inuyasha was strong enough to show such emotion on the surface while he could not…would not.

_How much more like father you are than I, Inuyasha_, Sesshoumaru thought before turning away from the scene and letting his feet carry him away.

Before he became truly conscious of where he traveled, Sesshoumaru found himself within the deep woods where even sunlight struggled to reach the ground. His senses alerted him to the nearness of his goal and Sesshoumaru came to a halt as an aged voice reached his ears. "So you have finally come to me again, Sesshoumaru. I have been waiting for you."

"Waiting for me, Bokusensou?" Sesshoumaru questioned the magnolia tree before him.

Slowly the bark twisted and turned to reveal the wizened face of the tree youkai. "Yes. I sensed you would come to seek my aid."

Sesshoumaru was no fool and would not disregard advice nor information when given from such a notable source. Bokusensou was well over two-thousand years old, one of the oldest living youkai still in existence, and he knew much from his communion with the trees. Sesshoumaru's own great and terrible father had trusted the tree youkai and placed him in high regard. "You will tell me how to find the miko I seek," he informed Bokusensou, knowing the youkai would already know of whom he spoke.

"The miko, Kagome, who followed your brother, Inuyasha, is no longer among us and has not been for some time."

Sesshoumaru mentally frowned. It had been almost two years since the miko had disappeared and he had traveled extensively during this time; not finding a trace of her existence anywhere. Nor had he come across any who knew information as to her whereabouts. Even the wolf prince, one he had smelled around the miko many times during the days of hunting Naraku, had been clueless. "This I know. Inuyasha spoke of the well near the human village he protects. He claims it took her away, to a different time. You know the secrets of this well, Bokusensou. Tell me them. Tell me if this is true."

The face on the tree gave an empty laugh. "So certain are you that I have all the information!" When Sesshoumaru did not respond, the laughter died away, fading like autumn leaves facing the winter, and the tree youkai's expression settled once more. "I know much, Sesshoumaru, but on the subject of the well there is little to know or tell. It is older than I. Formed from the dying body of a tree spirit like myself and powerful ancient magic, the bones of youkai thrown within disintegrated overnight. As to who crafted it, no one remembers."

"And the well also served as a portal for the miko, Bokusensou. You knew that, too."

"Yes."

"Why, then, did it take the miko away? Why does it no longer hold the magic that made it work if this power is so ancient and strong?"

"The miko's job here was done. The Shikon no Tama, which was torn from her body and split asunder, was made whole once more and the miko no longer belonged here, in this time. The well only put to right that which was askew."

_Askew…_ Sesshoumaru mulled the word on his tongue, tasting it as it were. He decided he did not like the sound of it; nor the feel either. To him, the miko disappearing was not putting the world back to rights once more. He felt incomplete, unfinished, and his feelings towards this human woman still curdled within him.

Feeling old eyes regarding him, Sesshoumaru turned his focus back once more upon the face before him, but Bokusensou had already seen. A rare smile spread across the wizened face. "But it has left _you_ disjointed in its wake, I see."

"That is none of your concern, Bokusensou. Do not speak about things you are not privy to," Sesshoumaru rebuked, hardening his outward appearance. He had let too much show while his mind wandered.

"I do not," the tree answered. "Do you know what your weakness is, Sesshoumaru?"

"I have none."

"Oh, not true, proud youkai. In battle, there is no other like you. But in life, you think too much. Wait too long. Opportunities such as this miko pass you by while you spend time debating with yourself on the merits and pitfalls of your own high morals. Not all of the joys in this world share your lifespan, youkai."

_Or my era, it seems,_ Sesshoumaru thought to himself as he turned away, intent on leaving. There was nothing more to be gained here and he would not listen to foolish prattle. It appeared that he had erred again, as Bokusensou did not have the information he sought. "The observation is plain to see," the tree youkai continued, unconcerned that he had been clearly dismissed. "Tell me, Sesshoumaru. How long did you ponder upon your feelings towards the miko before you decided to act?"

*IWFY*

Sesshoumaru had not wanted to return to Jaken, the imp's eyes getting more and more pressing with concern as the time past. His servant had been with him too long now and knew that he was…disturbed. So he went to the only other place he wanted to be; the well.

Inuyasha had long returned to his chosen people by the time he arrived. The full moon hung high in the sky as Sesshoumaru landed soundlessly in the grass. His eyes swept the clearing. All seemed to be as he had left it long ago, though the miko's scent was now missing from the air and the half-breed's was stronger. He approached the well, running his claws lightly against the worn wood. Placing his hand solidly against the lip, Sesshoumaru commanded the well silently to come back to life again.

Nothing seemed to change.

Then, with one smooth motion, Sesshoumaru jumped over the edge and plummeted down into the inky black depths. Inside the air smelled old and stale with the barest hints of the power this place had once contained still clinging to the stones. The ground was smooth and compact and Sesshoumaru could see that Inuyasha had not stopped trying to get to the miko, either. How often did his younger brother come here? From appearances, it was regularly. _Perhaps we are not so different in some ways._

Turning away from thoughts of Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru traced a niche in the wall with his fingers, feeling the rough stone made smooth by once constant contact. Even these markings, the foot and handholds she'd carved into the stone with her climbing, were fading. Little by little, her entire existence here amongst them was being slowly erased by time and weather.

Sesshoumaru cursed under his breath as regret concerning his actions towards the miko rose within him. With those thoughts came the sensation that she was _right_ there; just out of reach. Not one to dwell upon 'if only', his claws dug into the stone out of sheer frustration. How he wanted to just push himself through to this other place, this era where _his_ miko lived now. He would pull her back and never let her out of his sight again.

Jerking his claws free of the stone, only slightly satisfied by the mark he left behind, Sesshoumaru lifted himself out of the well and rose into the night sky. The half-breed would know that he had been there, but would that truly matter? It seemed Inuyasha had been correct and that the miko truly was out of his reach.

*IWFY*

Kagome, jolted awake from a sound sleep, looked around her in confusion. Had she been dreaming or did she really feel the signature of a youkai?

Out of habit, one she'd not been able to break yet, Kagome automatically leaned over and looked towards her window. Hope that had never fully died blossomed within her as she tentatively rose from her bed, pulled on her slippers and robe, and padded over towards it. Opening the window, Kagome leaned out, breathing in the cool night air. "Inuyasha?" she whispered, almost hating herself for even thinking he would be there.

Silence answered her, but the feeling of a youkai being nearby was still hanging in the air and she could not resist going down below and outside, taking a flashlight with her. Kagome moved quickly across the courtyard, letting the full moon's light guide her so she disturbed no one. Her family had been patient with her, with the depression that had overcome her upon the closing of the well, but they were beginning to push towards acceptance—that what was, would never be again. It had been years, after all. At some point, she would have to move forward.

Kagome reached the well house, the doors opening easily at her touch, and then immersed herself in the darkness that had once frightened her so. She inhaled the scents around her, longing for other familiar ones as she did. It was here that she felt the most comfort, running to the well to cry on those days when she just didn't think she could make it. The comfort was no different now. Perhaps slightly stronger even?

Switching on the flashlight, Kagome panned the room with it but saw nothing out of place. She approached the well, eyeing it with learned caution as she did. When it appeared nothing would be jumping out at her, Kagome let her fingers caress the wood lovingly and then suddenly jerked back when she felt something like another's heat reflecting off the wood. "What?" she said aloud, almost scaring herself with her own voice.

Nervous laughter followed and Kagome placed her hand fully against the lip of the well to assure herself she was imagining things. "Kagome you are really losing it," she told herself when she felt nothing.

Curiosity and a desire to leave nothing unexplored made her decide to climb down the rope ladder still hanging down into the well. Jiji had wanted to remove the ladder when it became apparent she could no longer return to Feudal times, but Kagome had argued against it. The ladder was her last tie to the past, her only reminder besides personal memories, and she hadn't been ready to give that up.

Tucking the flashlight into the tie of her robe, she climbed down, a bit slower than before. Once she was standing on the bottom, Kagome pulled the flashlight back out, shining it around on the walls. Everything looked as it always had but then the feeling of youki touched her once more. Soft and light as a feather but still very powerful, it was almost as if its owner were standing right there beside her. Then, before her eyes, the worn stone split as if invisible claws were gouging into it and the flare of youki spiked.

Too amazed by the sight to be afraid, Kagome stepped over to them, her fingers shaking as she reached out and traced the deep scars. Then she stumbled backwards as the realization dawned on her as to _why _this youki had seemed so familiar to her. "Sesshoumaru?" she whispered.


	5. Connections

**Connections**

Why he continued to return here, to this place, Sesshoumaru did not know. He had tried to stay away, but now the damned well loomed before him once more, shadowed by the stars and illuminated by the full moon above.

Moving closer, Sesshoumaru swept the clearing with his eyes. The grasses were taller now and the vines more entwining around the cursed structure before him. Tonight there was a chill in the air, telling of the approaching autumn and future snows. The leaves of the trees surrounding the clearing were in the process of their slow change. Some had already given up their fight with life and fallen to the ground in defeat of the coming chills.

The grasses around the clearing were slightly flattened from the obvious treading of feet and the well carried the residual scent of one he knew well. _Inuyasha,_ Sesshoumaru thought, his mind absent of malice towards his brother for once. While he would never like his brother, while he would never embrace him for the kin he was, Inuyasha had more than proven himself in the fight against Naraku. He had earned some manner of…respect, perhaps? Though where the miko was concerned, Sesshoumaru was not sure if that respect would save the hanyou in the end. It would lay upon his honor—and the high esteem with which he beheld his great and terrible father—to not cleave his brother in two if the half-breed found his way to the miko before him.

Moving up to the well, Sesshoumaru peered down into its mockingly empty depths. As tempted as he was to jump down into its darkness again, he would resist. His efforts had proved futile before and there had been no signs that doing so over and over again would negate a different response. Hadn't the half-breed been coming here regularly since the miko's disappearance? And the miko had far stronger ties to his brother than to him.

Sesshoumaru straightened, sensing a familiar presence in the air, and turned to face her. It took Rin not long at all to reach him. She stood on the outskirts, her face smiling and happy as it had always been when he'd come to see her. Why she had such an attachment to him after all this time, Sesshoumaru still failed to understand. But he allowed it…because it pleased him. "Rin."

"Lord Sesshoumaru," Rin answered with a deep bow.

"Why are you out in the darkness, Rin?"

"I have come to see you, Lord Sesshoumaru. I missed you."

Sesshoumaru looked away, to the night sky. "You are well," he stated. It wasn't a question. He could tell from her appearance and scent that she was happy and healthy.

"Yes, my Lord. Lady Kaede has been teaching me many things and she says I have a natural talent for helping people, but I do miss you and Master Jaken."

Rin took a step forward, relieving herself of the shadows that were of no hindrance to his sight. She was dressed in the kimono he had last given her and Sesshoumaru made note to purchase another. Rin was growing still, it seemed. "Return home, Rin. It is not safe for you to wander."

"Of course, my Lord. I am only awake because I sensed that you were nearby…and I had a dream."

While he was never one to question Rin too thoroughly, keeping his own council and coming to his own conclusions, Sesshoumaru blamed his asking after her dream upon the fact that his own thoughts were centered on the well and not on his normal process with her. "A dream?" he said as she turned to go.

Rin stopped her ordered retreat and looked over her shoulder, smiling at him again. Her pleasure in having him question her on something she'd said was more than obvious. Rin had always asked for so little when she traveled with him. She'd been pleased to be near him and that had seemed to be enough, but she was older now and her eyes kept betraying her thoughts. They were straying from him to the well he stood so near to. "Yes, my Lord. I dreamed Lady Kagome was coming back to us. I wanted to see if my dream was true."

"Hn," Sesshoumaru answered, as he always had at her thoughts before.

Rin began back towards the village once more, but stopped and turned to face him again. "My Lord?"

Sesshoumaru angled his head so that Rin would be aware he was listening without him having to vocalize. This was the way it had always been with them and she fell easily into the pattern. "Do you think that there is a chance Lady Kagome might return to us? I miss her."

He turned away from her then, without comment, and listened as Rin walked back to the human fold that had accepted her. He stood still, silent. When he was sure that Rin was once more within as safe a place as she could be—considering—he turned back to face the well.

_Rin misses her,_ he thought to himself before jumping within its inky depths.

*IWFY*

Kagome lay in her bed, wide awake and waiting. As soon as the noises of the house settled down and she was sure her family was asleep, she crept out of bed and pulled her clothing back on. As she had nearly every night since _that_ night, she snuck out of her house and made her way to the well. While she hated sneaking around and not telling her mother and grandfather exactly what had happened, she didn't think they would understand and she didn't think she could take their looks of disbelief and their sadness that she was still clinging to the hope of returning to an era not her own.

Stepping into the darkness, she made her way to the rope ladder by way of the flashlight she'd hidden and descended into the darkness below. Automatically, her eyes sought out the claw markings in the rock wall.

Every time she came down she looked to them. Half of her expected the deep scoring to be gone one night, as if the incident of their creation hadn't ever occurred, and she found it comforting and reassuring to see them still there. While the fact that they were from Sesshoumaru still sent chills up her spine, the proof that _something _had happened within the once magical well was undeniable with those on the wall and it boosted her confidence that another occurrence was likely.

Settling down on the opposite side of the markings, Kagome aimed the flashlight, studying them. She had intimate knowledge of exactly what Sesshoumaru's claws could do, having seen them in action many times, but for some reason Kagome found she couldn't be afraid of them now. No. She longed to see them again.

A shiver ran up her spine at the thought of that happening and she couldn't help the nervous laugh that came to her lips. What would she say? "Hello!" she said half-jokingly.

Closing her eyes, Kagome leaned her head back against the cool stone. In her mind she could still picture their faces, her _other _family who in this time were no more. They were crystal clear still, despite the passage of time, and Kagome swore even the air around her seemed sweeter and cleaner than it had a moment before.

Opening her eyes because she realized her mind wasn't playing tricks on her and the air did seem different, she looked towards the markings on the wall. "Hello?" she called out, softly this time and with all joking aside.

A feeling came over her and Kagome stood, moving towards the claw marks. She ran her fingers over them; once and then again. "Hello?" she said again. "Inuyasha?" she whispered tentatively before switching names. It still felt odd of to her to be calling out _his _name. "Sesshoumaru?"

A heat she couldn't deny as a figment seemed to blossom from within the very stones of the well as she spoke the youkai lord's name. A tingling sensation—one she associated with movement between the eras that she'd experienced dozens of times before—seemed to rise up all around her. The sensation was weak, though. It wasn't strong enough to pull her entirely through. "Sesshoumaru!" she called again, her voice louder and a bit more desperate as her fingers curled into the gouges he'd left behind.

*IWFY*

Sesshoumaru came to rest at the bottom of the well; the very place he said he would not go. Moving past that, as the decision was exactly that, he looked around him. Nothing had seemed to change from the last time he was here. What could he possibly do?

His fingers reached out, brushing against the gouges that marked his last visitation to this site. Was it him or was there heat coming from them now? Pressing his hand harder against the warming stone, he waited, holding even his own breath in case some minute sound came that would be overshadowed.

After a minute, he was sure. The miko was _there. _She was standing where he was. Her hand was pressed against the stone as his was—only centuries in the future. The miko, his ultimate goal now, was so close. So…near. He could taste her on his tongue, feel her with his body.

Sesshoumaru wanted to call out to her, but, as strong as the desire was, he found he could not. It would make him appear weak, to say her name. Still, the female's presence pressed on. And then Bokusensou's words echoed in his mind. Taking a chance…that is what the tree youkai had been speaking of. Taking a chance without weighing out every outcome.

Sesshoumaru parted his lips, resigning himself. "Kagome," he finally breathed, almost too soft for his own sensitive hearing to pick up.

To say her name aloud filled him with an almost profound relief. He had gone for so long only thinking her name, that to say it broke through a great pressure within. An unseen warmth enveloped him and Sesshoumaru was forced to close his eyes against the pleasure of it. Then his ears caught the sweetest of sounds. It was his name…coming from one he hadn't heard in years. And his name was not said in anger or fear, as it had been before. "Kagome," he said again, stronger this time.

His youki, stirred by the call of the female, rose and pressed against his surroundings. A breeze that should not have been rushed up from the very earth, it seemed, and brought with it a wave of her scent. The warmth of the stone intensified underneath his hand until he had to move away.

She'd heard him, he knew…

*IWFY*

The feeling of no longer being alone intensified. Kagome could feel Sesshoumaru's youki pressing down around her. She spun around, feeling as if there were eyes behind her. As she did, the flashlight fell from her fingers to land soundlessly against the packed earthen floor. She no longer needed it, anyway, as a hazy image she recognized filled the space before her and created its own light.

It was him.

Tall and imposing, his impossibly long silver hair reflected moonlight that didn't reach the well's floor here in her time. His attire had not changed in the passing years; armor as pristine as it had always been and his mokomoko still firmly attached to his shoulder. Unable to stop her gut reaction, Kagome tried to take a step back, bumping into the wall of the well as there was no room to retreat. His golden eyes widened, as if they saw her too, and his hand rose. The tips of his claws reflected the moonlight, sending scatters of light around the dark where she dwelled.

But it was _her _name he'd said. And the word had been distinct, said without malice or hatred. There even seemed to be a sense of longing there, buried deep within. Tentatively, Kagome pushed away from her cowering position against the wall.

*IWFY*

Her image was unclear and she was dressed far differently than Sesshoumaru had seen before, but it most definitely the miko standing before him. She looked slightly older, aging as human's did, but there still existed that spark in her eyes that had attracted his attention the first time. Then those eyes had connected with his, widening with instinctive fear, and the miko had tried to take a step back. Sesshoumaru raised his hand. Intending what, he knew not, but he did not want her afraid of him.

Her eyes had followed his movements, confusion clouding over the fear. And then she'd stepped forward, curiosity lighting her gaze now. The miko was unsure as to why _he_ was there, but she was willing to trust him. As she had done before…

Her own ghostly hand rose, intentions clear.


	6. Tenacity

** Tenacity**

The miko had been gone from this land for over two human years. Yet now she stood before him at the bottom of a dry well. It was not her complete form, however. Wavering from solidity to some vaporous outline, the miko's body was etched with an eerie blue light that seemed to radiate from the very aura of the once dead well. Still, there was no denying that it was she.

The apparition before him, the version of her displaced by time, fluctuated slightly as she raised her hand. The miko paused, looking to him once more, and he wondered if to her it was his image fading in and out. When she seemed sure that he would not disappear on her, her fingers slowly spread to match the length of his own. They drew closer and Sesshoumaru found himself holding his breath.

And then they met.

Sesshoumaru wasn't sure what he expected, having never really touched hands with another before and definitely not with someone who appeared to him as almost see through. There was heat, yes, but it was strange. The feeling seemed to only radiate between their hands and not from them.

Her touch was light, however. She might be trusting him, but there was a limit to what she would dare and Sesshoumaru found, considering their history, that he could understand her reluctance.

He wondered if more contact was needed and pushed his hand forward, pressing more of his flesh against hers. The miko's hand was so small and delicate against his larger one. Sesshoumaru was sure that, had they been palm to palm, he could have folded his fingers over her own quite easily.

He moved his eyes from their joined hands to the miko, herself. Her eyes had widened as he pressed his hand against hers and emotions were flying across her face faster than he could place them. Then she, too, pressed back harder, firmer, and the heat between them began to grow. But nothing else seemed to be occurring and the miko seemed, also, to be perturbed by that—if her wrinkled brow were any indication. The tension she'd gathered around her when he'd pressed back had since eased and her stance changed to one of irritation, her lips pursing as she did. Her eyes were staring at their joined hands and then she opened her mouth to speak to him, unleashing a torrent of quickly said words. Oddly not a sound reached him with only the strange heat seeming to increase the more she spoke.

When the miko bothered to take a breath, giving pause in whatever she was saying, Sesshoumaru shook his head no, wishing to convey to her that he could not hear her.

The heat between them began to burn hotter and Sesshoumaru realized it was feeding itself off their energies. While he had more than enough to last in this state almost indefinitely, he wondered how the miko, a mere human, could bear such. It was then that he noticed she seemed to be breathing heavier and there was a certain strain to her that had not been there beforehand.

_She is trusting me, _ Sesshoumaru thought to himself.

Such a thing was not to be taken lightly and, knowing her as he did, Sesshoumaru chose to step away, breaking the contact of their flesh and sealing off his energy from whatever was feeding from it. There was time enough, before whatever held them together dissolved, to study her one last time. The miko looked shocked, hurt, and confused all at the same time by his actions. And then she was gone.

Sesshoumaru stayed there, at the bottom of a dry well, for longer than he would have thought possible to linger in such surroundings. He barely moved, savoring each scent that came to him. Did the miko understand why he had done as he had? Did she resent him now because of the actions he had taken?

Realizing the futility of remaining there as no more answers were to be had, Sesshoumaru took to the air. He needed time to think this through and plan on how to proceed.

*IWFY*

Kagome took in a deep breath of fresh air, filling lungs that felt starved. Bracing herself upright on the wall, she closed her eyes as she regained her balance. As exciting as the connection had been to make, it took a lot from her. More than she had known it would. Though Sesshoumaru's abrupt withdrawal had hurt and confused her in more ways than one, Kagome was secretly glad he had. If they had continued, she wasn't sure what would have happened.

Shaking her head clear, Kagome sat down on the floor of the well until she was able to move once more. Then she climbed the ladder and returned to her bed. Though she thought sleep would be impossible, with adrenaline still racing through her, she amazingly fell almost immediately into her dreams.

In the morning, she ran through her usual routine and left for school. She sat through the day, near to one of the last she was to have with her friends in school, and forced her mind to focus on the then and now. When she returned home, Kagome focused on her family and on completing her studies. That night, she went to the well again, excitement coursing through her veins at the prospects of what might occur this time.

But there was nothing…

Not one to be deterred, Kagome remained in the well for most of the night before finally forcing herself to return to her bed. The next day it was the same. As was the day after that.

Though time wore on with no apparent change and nothing happened at the well again, Kagome continued undaunted. Each day she held her head high, acted as if she were concerned with where she was going, and made plans for a future she prayed she didn't have. At night, she returned to the well, hoping that something would occur as it had before. Even though nothing seemed to be, Kagome refused to give up. She'd never been one to easily let go or back down from an idea or goal and, in this, she would persevere.

This process, this steadfastness, carried her through several months. It saw her through graduation; the goodbyes and promises to keep in touch. It saw her through her friends planning their lives, their futures, and wanting to include her in them—even though she had no desire to reciprocate.

When all was said and done, if asked, Kagome couldn't repeat word-for-word, with definite sureness, anything that had happened in her present time. Her mind was either five-hundred years in the past or stuck on the night with Sesshoumaru in the well, replaying everything and wondering.

And it wasn't as if her family did not notice, even though she made herself believe they did not.

Kagome found herself in the gardens one day, carefully raking the small pebbles into a precise design. The chore had always given her peace and was one she enjoyed doing. It was Jiji who insisted she take over it, shortly after returning after the completion of the jewel, and she was glad he had. Her grandfather was wiser than she had ever given him credit for. As her thoughts turned to her him, Kagome became aware of his presence near her, watching as she worked. Focusing on the task before her, Kagome continued until she was finished. When she was done, she turned to her grandfather and smiled, trying to pretend nothing was amiss with her mind and all was well. He'd cleared his throat, blushing as he did, and then sighed. "Kagome," he began, turning his eyes towards the pattern she'd woven in the ground before her, "Letting go does not mean giving up. Rather accepting that there are things that cannot be." Then he'd calmly turned away and left.

Unsure of what, exactly, her grandfather meant, Kagome had finished her chores, his words weighing upon her. As she usually did when she was troubled, Kagome retreated to the well house. In the daylight it looked less strange, but the comfort was the same as it was in the deep of night.

Kagome stepped down the staircase, her fingers finding purpose against the wooden lip of the well as her eyes swelled with tears. She missed her family on the other side of time. She missed them so much.

Hearing a noise behind her, Kagome turned slightly to see her mother framed by the doorway. "Momma," Kagome whispered.

Her mother was by her side in an instant, soothing and calming as she had always been. "Kagome? What's wrong?"

Not wanting to voice her thoughts, Kagome merely shook her head no. Her mother merely hugged her tighter in response. "You know, Kagome," her mother finally said, "I love you. And I'll love you and think of you no matter where you are…or where you go."

She should have known nothing she did escaped the notice of her family. "You've known all this time?"

"I'm your mother. Of course I know you. The daughter I raised would never have given up hope or stopped trying to get where she knows she belongs." Then her mother paused, staring into her face as if trying to memorize it. "We all know, Kagome, and we all love you and support you. But you cannot be divided on this. You cannot have both."

Kagome closed her eyes, thinking on her mother's and grandfather's words. Knowing her daughter needed space, her mother gave her one more hug and then left her to her thoughts.

*IWFY*

The next morning Kagome went to her final classes; wishing her friends farewell one last time. They were all moving on to different themes and different times while she seemed stuck in the past.

The time had passed so quickly, they said as they reminisced about their years together. _Well,_ Kagome thought to herself, _to most I suppose it had_.

For her, it had dragged on and on. Time had been a cage, trapping her within and holding her prisoner. Now she was free, it seemed, from all that had held her here. Her schooling was done, her education—that she'd valued so highly in her younger years—was complete. Now if only she, personally, could be so…

Of course, she hadn't expected her wish to be answered. In fact, she was mostly startled and surprised.

Walking up the shine steps with her brother, teasing him as always, Kagome had suddenly found herself overcome with a feeling as she reached the top. She'd barely been able to tell her brother goodbye as she ran towards the well house, but she knew—deep within—that Souta understood.

As she stepped within the encasing walls, Kagome closed her eyes and let the feeling overtake her. She finally understood what her grandfather and mother had been trying to tell her. What was keeping her here were her own feelings, her own fears. After being trapped in darkness for three days by the Shikon no Tama, Kagome had just been relieved and happy to have been returned to her family; to her mother, Souta, and grandfather. In a cruel twist, the jewel had granted her wish; it had gone away and life had moved on. For without the jewel, she could not transport between times. But the jewel had not taken away her memories nor her longing to see those she cherished in that other time…

Kagome opened her eyes. Even though the jewel was gone, it was still _there. _She was sure. It might have been nothing but a stone, but that stone had held souls within it. And those souls were watching and judging, waiting and wanting.

Stepping into the prevailing darkness, Kagome moved forward boldly, her eyes never leaving the ancient well before her. "I'm ready," she announced. "I might not have been before, but I know I am now."

Placing her hand against the lip of the well, Kagome did not pause as she vaulted over and plummeted within. Part of her, a very small part, expected to hit the bottom with a jar—as she had so many times those first few months. Instead, the blue light swelled up around her, welcoming her and carrying her through to the place she most wanted to be.

Then her feet, for the last time, lightly touched the bottom of the well again and Kagome raised her face to the open sky above.

*IWFY*

Souta watched as his sister suddenly stopped, her body stiffening as if she noticed something. Her eyes had turned towards the well house and a smile he hadn't seen in a long while blossomed across her face. Then she'd looked to him, her eyes burning into his memory, and whispered goodbye. Dropping her backpack without care, she'd raced towards the well house.

Not wanting to move, knowing he'd never see his sister again, Souta memorized her retreating form and her whispered goodbye. The look in her eyes had been obvious enough; Kagome would miss him and their family, but she didn't belong here any more. She belonged five-hundred years in the past, where she'd left her heart.

Once the blue light flashed from the well house, Souta picked up her discarded bag and headed inside. Their mother was in the kitchen, her eyes focusing on the well house from the window. There were tears, but she was smiling. "Kagome's gone," Souta said, as he set their packs down by the doorway. He knew his mother had seen, but he felt like he had to say something.

"Yes," his mother agreed.

She stared out the window for a minute more, the hope on her face that her daughter would walk out of the well house slowly fading as practicality and acceptance took its place. Then she began washing the dishes in front of her again.


	7. Returning

**Returning**

Kagome took a deep breath, her face raised towards the open sky above her. She couldn't believe that she was back, that the well had worked for her one last time. Part of her still thought this was a very well done hallucination—or a vivid dream—and she'd wake up in her bed at any moment, but the world around her felt too real and the sun too warm on her face.

Reaching out, her fingers scraped over the rough stone walls of the well and over the grooves and handholds her feet had cut into the stone through years of time traveling. She paused, taking another deep breath, when she saw Sesshoumaru's markings in the stone. As she did, Kagome realized her hands were shaking. "Stop being silly," she admonished herself. "And get out of this well now."

Taking one step at a time, Kagome found the notches she'd always used and began to climb. The image of Sesshoumaru rose in her mind the higher she climbed and Kagome wondered what the daiyoukai would do now that she had come back. He had, after all, tried to connect with her through the well for _some_ reason or another. It wasn't as if Sesshoumaru often lingered at the bottom of dry wells just for the fun it. Well, she didn't think he did, but what did she really know about him?

Excitement coursed through her at the thought of seeing him again. Of course, Kagome didn't expect to find Sesshoumaru looming above the well upon her grand exit and she hardly counted him as one of her reasons for wanting to return, but there was just something there now. They had connected…and perhaps a friendship was possible now?

Smiling to herself, Kagome neared the top of the well. Her fright was replaced by excitement and concerns. How had her friends fared during the three years she was gone?

Suddenly a shadow loomed over her, blocking the warmth of the sun, and a strong hand she knew well reached forward. Without hesitation, Kagome grabbed hold and let herself be lifted the rest of the way out of the well. "Inuyasha," she breathed, smiling at her dearest friend.

Inuyasha stared at her for a minute, as if not believing it was really her, and then that familiar half smile of his came. "Kagome."

"I'm sorry. Have you been waiting long?"

He suddenly embraced her, squeezing her tight. "You idiot," Inuyasha muttered as he buried his nose into her hair and inhaled deeply.

Kagome closed her eyes and hugged him back, just happy to be where she was. Everything else was pushed aside.

*IWFY*

There was much shock and celebration upon her return and Kagome found herself swamped by those she hadn't seen in years. Even Kohaku, back on a rare visit, and Rin were there.

It took weeks before life even started to seem to settle down once more and Inuyasha was never far from her side. Sango joked with her that perhaps he thought she might disappear again, but Kagome wasn't so sure. Inuyasha seemed to be acting as a guard, as if he thought he were protecting her from someone. She even swore he was watching her when she was asleep. But when she tried to confront him on it, to find out what exactly was the matter, Inuyasha would just blush and stammer and then find some reason to retreat.

To find her place in the village, Kagome put herself under Kaede's tutelage, learning more on making medicines and helping with purifications. She spent her days aiding the people she lived among or with Sango or Rin. On those days she just wanted peace and quiet, Kagome would slip away to the well. It was always calm there and her memories with that place were great. Inuyasha often joined her and, together, they would sit in silence; sometimes up in the reaching limbs of the God tree and other times among the grass and flowers.

As time passed, Inuyasha seemed to slowly settle down. He began leaving with Miroku again, when the monk decided it was time to "earn" more for his ever-growing family. As much as Kagome was glad to not have his hovering, she still felt a loss when Inuyasha left. During those times, Kagome often sat up late into the night, staring at the amazing view of the stars she had in this time as there was no sight like this in the future, and it comforted her for some reason.

As much as she hoped to speak with Sesshoumaru, the daiyoukai seemed to be avoiding her. It was that or some explanation Kagome had not yet thought of. He had come to see Rin several times since her return, but always when she was away from the village or otherwise occupied. As soon as she was able to go see him, Sesshoumaru took off without a backwards glance to her. Kagome began to doubt her meeting with him had even occurred at all.

Winter came then, covering the land in a freezing blanket of white, and very few ventured forth from their homes to brave the chilling climates. Kagome was one of those few. Dressed as warmly as she could be, she delivered medicines to those taken sick from the chill. Sometimes she even ventured to the surrounding villages to lend aid as Kaede, the wrinkles on her face deepening with age, was getting too old to be traveling and Rin was too young. Often times she had an escort, normally in the form of Inuyasha, but sometimes he and Miroku were gone and she went on her own.

*IWFY*

Kagome wrapped her arms around her body for additional warmth as she walked. It had been lightly snowing when she'd left the neighboring village and now the air was clear and crisp without a flake in sight. She'd politely set aside the village leader's urgings for her to stay, wanting to be there when Inuyasha returned.. Thankfully the falling snow had cleared, but the chill remained.

Keeping her hands free to grab her bow if necessary, Kagome shivered as the cold in the air forced its way through even the thick flannel kimono she wore. While the outfit was a little restricting, she wouldn't trade its warmth for anything else and just promised herself she would stay even more vigilant to her surroundings. Though she no longer had the shards of the Shikon to attract trouble to her, there was always danger in this era. And not just from youkai, either. Sometimes Kagome thought that the bands of men who roamed this age were a far more savage lot—attacking villages and killing indiscriminately. But this was an era of power struggles, after all.

Then, out of nowhere, her mind conjured Sesshoumaru's image once more. She hadn't thought of the daiyoukai in weeks. Strange that his image surfaced in her mind now…

_Or maybe not_, Kagome thought to herself as her senses suddenly sung with life and recognition flowed through her. Stopping, Kagome made a low bow towards the tree line before her. "Lord Sesshoumaru," she said softly, knowing the daiyoukai would hear her. "I'm honored to cross your path."

As if emerging from a dream, the daiyoukai strode boldly out of the shadows. Garbed much as he always was, he cut a striking figure against the bare backdrop of the winter scenery. Though it was still day, the low cloud cover cast a darkening gloom upon the land and his golden eyes shined in the dimmed lighting. Kagome noticed right away that Jaken was not in tow and she wondered where the imp was. As annoying as Jaken had been, she'd still come to like him. It helped that Rin had filled her with tales of how Jaken had protected her when she traveled with Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru stopped several feet away from her, his eyes combing slowly over her form.

"I wanted to thank you, Lord Sesshoumaru," Kagome finally said to break the silence that had descended upon them. The world around her, the small noises that made up life, seemed to have stalled with Sesshoumaru being here and his unwavering gaze was more unsettling than she remembered it to be. Kagome could only think of one other time she'd held the daiyoukai's attention for more than a second and suddenly her ideas of friendship with such a creature seemed foolish. What could she possibly offer him in return?

He said nothing, content it seemed to merely stare, and Kagome found herself fidgeting. Then he took another step forward, seeming to swallow the space up between them in an instant. Her heart fluttered in her chest as she arched her head back to continue looking at him. While she would give him the respect he was due, she would not lower her own self-worth to do so. Kagome had not been raised that way. "Are you traveling to see Rin?" she inquired. For what other reason would he have to be traveling in the same direction as her? The village lay only a short distance away from where they stood now.

There was another long and tense moment of silence before he finally deemed it appropriate to reply to her. "This one is not traveling to see Rin."

His deep baritone sent shivers down her spine, a reaction Kagome tried hard to hide.

*IWFY*

Sesshoumaru had been almost instantly aware of the miko's return and it had taken everything within him not to rush to her side—though once there he wasn't sure what he would have done. Instead, he'd taken to watching her, as he had before. And he did not miss the protective hovering of the hanyou, either.

If he had come forward while Inuyasha was there, Sesshoumaru was sure that there would be a confrontation between them and, while that worried him little, he found himself taking the miko into consideration. Such a thing, as a squabble between he and Inuyasha, would upset her and so Sesshoumaru remained at a distance.

It had purely been chance that he'd come to see her on this day. When he'd found her presence—away from the village but on a path towards it—Sesshoumaru had moved instantly towards her. The miko was returning from somewhere, obviously, and looked so delicate and fragile as she waded through the high snow banks. Her head had been lifted, looking towards the looming clouds, and her young body was singing with life.

He'd purposefully allowed her to sense him, pleased when no fear entered her stance when she noticed him. Instead the miko had bowed respectfully and said his name…which only brought forth the memories of her in the well to the forefront of his mind.

He wanted her, but, until this moment, Sesshoumaru had not realized just how deeply he craved a connection with this particular female. It was unnatural, this desire. Disturbing and entirely unlike his usual self, this feeling burned through him. A heat unlike any other spread through his body as their eyes met. Not even his desire to possess Tessaiga compared.

And there was nothing and no one here to stop him from seeing this desire through…

Sesshoumaru moved closer to her and the miko's head arched upwards, baring the delicate stretch of her throat to his claws as she strived to maintain eye contact. Though he knew she was not aware of what she was doing, the action was just as satisfying nonetheless. Her scent filled the air around him and he inhaled it deeply, relief coursing through him. Her large blue eyes, windows to her soul, radiated no fear. Instead there was curiosity filling them…curiosity and something more.

He had to get away from her now before he did something he would regret, but surely, after years of lingering want, one touch could not hurt. No, one touch would be enough to satisfy…

*IWFY*

Sesshoumaru continued to stare down at her, his golden eyes unreadable. Then, slowly—as if he didn't want to alarm her—his hand lifted. Kagome, unsure of what he was about but sensing he meant her no harm, remained still. She wasn't sure she could move even if she wanted to. The prolonged contact of his gaze, so direct and commanding, held her entranced—overwhelming common sense even.

His fingers enclosed around her throat, gently and without malice, and his thumb brushed across her pulse point over and over again. This touch caused a thrumming sensation to course through her and Kagome closed her eyes to hide the affect from him. Sesshoumaru was invitingly warm, even in this chill, and she found herself leaning into his touch. When her head lowered, as her body relaxed, Sesshoumaru's hand moved tauntingly slowly up to cup her jaw. A slight pressure, caused by his grip, made her head raise once more and Kagome opened her eyes again.

When she did, Kagome found that Sesshoumaru had moved even closer to her; their breath fogging the air between them, mixing and mingling in way she'd never thought would be. Before she could comprehend Sesshoumaru's actions, his lips were pressing against hers in the form of a chaste kiss.

Surprise made her lips part, but just as suddenly as the contact had happened it was over. Sesshoumaru no longer stood before her, the impression of his boots in the snow and the lingering warmth of his hand against her skin her only proof that this had not been dreamed.

Slowly Kagome's fingers raised to touch her lips as astonishment coursed through her. Her entire perception of their relations shattered, reformed, and shattered again as she whispered the only words she could. "Oh my…"


	8. Entangled

**Entangled**

A few flakes began to fall as Kagome stood on in the clearing; immobilized by shock with all her blood rushing to her face. Her eyes took in the fact that it was snowing again—and getting heavier by the minute—but it all seemed pale and inconsequential as her mind replayed the kiss. Her fingers, still pressed against her lips, seemed to retain the heat that had been placed there only minutes before. _What in the world?_

Her eyes moved down to stare at Sesshoumaru's footprints in the snow until the rising wind and falling snow distorted and corroded them. Then Kagome realized how numb her body was growing and stumbled forward, any grace she'd obtained over the years disappearing as her mind was distracted and her body frozen.

Her steps were slow as she crossed the snow and ice-coveredrice patties towards the village, marked by the rising smoke from the many fires. She had yet to remove her hand from her mouth, as if doing so would make the feel of Sesshoumaru's lips there disappear. Before she knew it, Kagome found herself standing in the middle of the village. She turned automatically to go to Sango's and then scratched that idea. Sango would know somethinghad happened and Kagome wasn't sure she was up to being questioned.

Instead she went to Kaede's, where she was staying for the time being. But, as soon as she walked in the doorway, Kagome had wished she'd gone somewhere else. Rin was there, stirring something over the fire. "Lady Kagome," she said with her bright innocent smile in place. "You've returned."

"Aye," Kaede agreed from where she sat. "And just in time. The snows are picking up once more."

Seeing Rin, whom she'd long associated with Sesshoumaru, only made the memory of the kiss blare dangerously bright within Kagome's mind. _This isn't the time or place for this,_ she mentally berated herself.

Rin's brow creased with worry when she remained standing by the doorway. "Are you alright, Lady Kagome? You look pale."

She felt Kaede's wizened eyes moving over her and the aged miko snorted. At the sound Kagome's eyes snapped to hers and Kaede nodded knowingly. "Tis only the cold outside, child," Kaede said, directing her words to Rin.

"Yes, I'm fine," Kagome quickly agreed. "Just chilled."

Kaede turned to look at her once more, her eyes twinkling with laughter. _She knows,_ Kagome thought. _But how could she? _"Come to the fire and warm yourself, Kagome. Ye are surely chilled to the bone."

Unwrapping herself from her now sodden winter wear, Kagome hung it on a hook by the door. She changed quickly into her lined cotton yukata, knowing she would not be venturing out of doors again today, and moved to the fire. She crouched down on bended knee before it, holding her hands out towards the fire's warmth.

Rin, taking Kaede's words to heart and setting aside whatever worries she'd held, continued to stir the stew before her while humming a light tune.

Outside the wind began to howl almost forlornly.

*IWFY*

Kagome woke in the morning to a wonderland of white with clear, crisp skies above. Her flannel clothing was dry and she quickly placed it on. After placing her bed roll away, she took to tending the fire and beginning to reheat the vegetable medley they'd had the night before for their morning meal. Rin and Kaede were still asleep and so she worked quickly and quietly, her body humming with energy she hadn't known she possessed. Keeping herself busy was good, though. It kept her mind off…things.

The day slowly progressed, with Sango and her brood coming over. Kagome watched the twins play in the snow outside while Rin and Kaede fussed over Sango's youngest. Miroku and Inuyasha had not returned the night before as planned and Sango guessed the storm that had suddenly moved through the area had kept them away.

Kagome was anxious to see Inuyasha again, but then she was not. What would she tell him? If she admitted to what had happened, what would he say? She could already picture his shocked face…followed soon by anger. He was still so much a little boy and, though his relations with Sesshoumaru had improved greatly, they were nowhere near to calm and rational. But had Sesshoumaru's actions been rational? He hadn't acted like the stoic daiyoukai she'd always thought she'd known. But then again, there had been that incident within the well…

"Your mind is elsewhere."

She jumped at the sound of Sango's voice, causing her friend to laugh at her. That laughter quickly died as inspection took its place. "Kagome?" Sango inquired in a tone she knew too well. "What has happened?"

"Nothing," Kagome answered almost too quickly and she tried to hide her grimace. Sango would know now that she was lying. "I'm just tired from the walk yesterday. I should have stayed in the village and waited out the snow."

_But if I'd waited out the snows, I never would have run into Sesshoumaru…_

Kagome shook her head, knocking the thought aside. She fought back the urge to touch her lips once more. It wasn't like that was her first kiss, after all!

When she looked to Sango, her friend was smiling slyly. It was a look that deeply reminded her of Miroku, wickedness and all. Kagome huffed, trying to distract her friend from whatever thoughts were circling in her mind by playing the innocent. "You are turning into your husband," she accused. "What wicked thoughts are you entertaining, Sango?"

At that, Sango laughed, her eyes turning to follow her children romping in the snow. "Do you want children, Kagome?" she asked suddenly, making Kagome secretly roll her eyes. Her once seemingly solid friend had turned into a hormonal mess now that children were involved in her life. Sango thought that every woman should settle immediately down and want them.

"I'm sure eventually I'll want them," Kagome answered, as she always had. "But not right now."

"Oh really?" Sango replied, her tone suggesting she didn't believe her.

Kagome eyed her skeptically and picked the best route with which to turn Sango's mind from whatever path it was walking down. "Sango, you're not pregnant again, are you?"

Sango laughed again, the sound a good one to hear after so many years of her friend punishing herself. "No. At least, I do not think I am. Oh look," she said, brightening, "It seems Rin is going to have some company."

Kagome turned her head, following Sango's gaze, to see Sesshoumaru cresting the hill. Jaken was in tow, only the tip of his staff visible above the high drifts.

*IWFY*

Kagome felt strange, sitting inside Kaede's with Sesshoumaru in attendance. She knew the daiyoukai didn't often come to see Rin within the village limits, but he was surely taking into account the weather outside. Leaving him and Rin to converse, as they quietly were, Kagome moved over towards Jaken, the imp leaning against the wall of the hut closest to the doorway. "Jaken," she said warmly. "It is good to see you again."

He eyed her skeptically, looking for anything in her hands with which she may do him harm. "I thought you had gone back to where you came from, _human._"

Kagome rolled her eyes at his attempted insult, the imp so easy to see through after all this time. It helped to have had Rin in her company for so long. Otherwise she might have knocked Jaken upside his head, though the idea of doing so did seem therapeutic. _Maybe that is why Sesshoumaru keeps him around…?_

Suddenly Jaken straightened, his eyes moving towards his lord and their already abnormal width widening considerably. Kagome followed his gaze unwillingly, her eyes making contact with those of Sesshoumaru. The daiyoukai was glancing towards them from the side, his golden eyes steeled with dislike. At her side, Jaken sputtered, unsure of what to do. Lightly, Kagome placed her hand upon his shoulder. "Would you like something to drink, Jaken?" she asked.

"Y..yes!" the imp replied shakily, still unsure of what he'd done to earn the disregard of his lord.

Kagome rose smoothly and fetched the imp some water to drink. Having served him, she stepped outside. Taking a deep breath, she welcomed the cold air filling her lungs. It seemed to cool down the rampart movement of her mind. Since his arrival, Sesshoumaru had paid her little attention—not that he had been there for long—but did she wish for him to?

Groaning to herself, Kagome returned to the inside of the hut once more to collect her bow and arrows. She needed to get away from this place, from this person who aroused such conflict within her, and think things through.

*IWFY*

The well was edged with ice sickles, the sunlight not enough to melt them but enough to cast rainbows through the air.

Kagome approached it, running her hands over the rough-grained wood encased in ice, and released the stress she hadn't known she'd been holding within her. "Momma," she said aloud to the well, knowing no one was about to hear her, "What do I do now?"

"You continue," a voice answered behind her, making her jump for the second time that day. "And you stay more vigilant to your surroundings, miko."

Kagome turned to face Sesshoumaru. He was alone; no Jaken in sight. "Lord Sesshoumaru," she greeted with a bow. "Are you done speaking with Rin? Where's Jaken?"

He declined to answer, as she knew he would, and moved towards her. Kagome stiffened, her hand tightening around the bow in her possession. It wouldn't work against a daiyoukai of his power she knew—memories of him capturing her arrow and melting it into nothing surfacing—but she didn't have a reason to fear him, did she?

Sesshoumaru stopped less than a foot away from her, his hand raising once more to brush the backs of his fingers gently across her cheek. Kagome flushed at the touch, reminded of his kiss, but she refused to look away. "What do you want of me, Lord Sesshoumaru?" she inquired steadily, surprised she had it within her to confront him so directly. The daiyoukai was formidable and her memories of him were not entirely soft. "Is this some new game for you now that Naraku is no more? I'm not a toy, you know."

At that, his eyes widened. "Toy?" he repeated, playing with the word on his tongue. Then his head tilted slightly to the side, his eyes appraising her in a new light.

Kagome soon grew uncomfortable with the look in them and she took a step away, distancing herself. "I don't know what's going on," she rushed out, needing to get this off her chest, "But there was that thing in the well. You were there, right? That wasn't a fragment of my overactive imagination? And then…then you just….But you can't…." Here Kagome found herself pausing, tripping over her own tongue and struggling for the right word as she fought a rising blush. Then she took a deep breath, accepted what had happened as fact, and spit it out. "You just can't just kiss a girl and then run away."

Sesshoumaru's lips bent in a half smile at her declaration. The slight movement of his facial features changed everything and she could understand why Jaken feared the sight so. It made him seem more of a threat…in more ways than one. "If I had stayed, my miko," he answered, his voice both solemn and yet strangely warm, "What would you have done?"

Kagome didn't have an answer for that. In fact, she hadn't even been sure it had actually happened…much less what would have continued to be if Sesshoumaru hadn't disappeared on her. Annoyed with herself and her disjointed thoughts, she mentally stomped her foot in the snow like a little girl would. Such a show of childishness just wouldn't do in this situation, though. "Well, the question is a pointless one," she replied in as sagely a voice as she could. "As you left me there. With that!" she added, for emphasis.

He did not reply, but, in Kagome's opinion, he looked more smug than she thought he had a right to.

Sesshoumaru took another step forward, eating away at the space between them she'd put. Was he trying to intimidate her? Kagome refused to be cowed out of getting her answer and she met his gaze, raising her head to do so. "So I respectfully ask again, Lord Sesshoumaru. What are your intentions with me?"

There was a moment of silence, in which his golden eyes bored into hers. While she couldn'tread his thoughts in them, he seemed to be debating with himself. Then slowly, as if he were speaking of things that should have been obvious from the start, he answered. "This one declared himself to you, in the only human-like way he knows."

Kagome's mouth opened and then promptly shut itself again.

"I vie for your affections, miko," he continued, heedless of the mental breakdown she was experiencing. "And so decided to openly state myself as such."

_What? _"But…but…but…"

Sesshoumaru quieted her useless stammer by placing his finger against her lips. "This one is not the wolf prince," he warned. "I will not make useless banter with no follow through. Neither shall I abduct you from where you are safe and happy for foolish reasoning."

_How in the hell did he know about that? _Kagome thought to herself. Sesshoumaru continued, seeming to ignore the shock that was slowly overwhelming her. "Nor will I play with your affections." Here his voice and eyes hardened slightly and Kagome knew he was thinking of Inuyasha and Kikyou. Before she could challenge those words and correct his misunderstandings, the look passed and he continued. "But I am also not one without upbringing. This one shall court you, Higurashi Kagome."


	9. Blossoming

**Blossoming**

Kagome stared at the falling snow, both loving and cursing it at the same time. The winter weather was so harsh yet so beautiful and reminded her of someone she didn't truly wish to think about at the moment. Sighing, Kagome tucked her hands within the folds of her robe and closed her eyes, raising her face towards the falling snow. Even though she'd been standing in the cold for some time, her skin still registered the flakes as they touched her and melted on contact.

After bolding announcing his intentions the other day. Sesshoumaru had stared down at her for a long minute afterward. Perhaps he'd been waiting for her to speak? Then he'd stroked her cheek one last time and left without another word. As much as had she longed to call out after him, to question him further on the subject, her mouth had been as frozen as her surroundings. Shock held her immobile and rendered her tongue, that appendage she far too often used quite liberally, useless.

Inuyasha had found her still standing there with a glazed expression on her face. With obvious distaste, he'd sniffed the air but held his thoughts to himself as he walked her back to the village.

_Court me?_ Kagome thought to herself for the fiftieth time that day. She'd never known Sesshoumaru harbored such…feelings…towards her. And here she'd been thinking that perhaps they could be friends now! _Court me._ It seemed the more she thought on it, the less strange it was.

Opening her eyes, she turned them towards the direction of Inuyasha's forest. It had been nearly a week since she had seen Sesshoumaru and, though she jumped at every sound, it almost seemed as if the daiyoukai were not coming back. Had her inability to speak insulted him? Had she driven him away without meaning to? Did she even really want to see him again?

If there was one thing Kagome had done enough of in the past, it was lie to herself about what she truly wanted. And so she freely admitted that she _did_ want to see Sesshoumaru again, but was it because he offered her something new or was she somehow attracted to him?

_How in the world could I be? Sesshoumaru is the complete opposite of me. So cold and unemotional... Well not really, _Kagome silently amended as she turned to watch Rin walking through the village. _This child wouldn't be who she is today if not for Sesshoumaru…and Sesshoumaru is no longer the merciless youkai from before because of her, too._

Groaning as her thoughts circled around once more, Kagome trudged back towards the shelter of Kaede's hut and the warmth of the fire there.

*IWFY*

Awareness came slowly, as mornings were her hardest time to get up and moving. Kagome opened her eyes and registered the familiar roof over her head. When she'd first returned, waking had been an adventure every day. She'd had to remind herself daily that she now lived here and would never go "home" again. Now it wasn't so difficult and, though Kagome missed her family on the other side of the well, she was more content than she'd ever been before.

Sitting up, Kagome looked over her companions in the single room hut. Kaede and Rin were still sleeping and so could not have been the reason she awakened. Then her eyes turned towards the doorway, barely lit by the morning sun. Kagome was sure that most of the village was still encased in the darkness of night at this time. So what had disturbed her enough to wake her?

Rubbing sleep from her eyes, Kagome looked around the darkened hut, seeking answers there. The fire in the center of the room had died down to embers, which cast an eerie glow throughout the small space. Pockets of shadows danced as winds, coming in through the cracks in the walls, flickered and fanned the barely alive fire. Making to rise, Kagome put her hands down on the cold floor and then jumped as one of her fingers brushed against something silky.

Squinting in the darkness, Kagome stared down at the space beside her bedroll. There, laying oh-so innocently beside her, was a small lacquered box with three camellia flowers on top of it. She bent closer, blushing as she recognized the colors and their meanings—a red one for love, a yellow for longing, and a large beautifully blooming white one for waiting.

With almost shaking hands, Kagome carefully set aside the delicate blossoms, wondering how far their sender had had to travel to find them. She picked up the box, realizing that in itself was a beautiful piece of craftsmanship. Carefully lifting the lid, Kagome peered inside.

Laying within, resting on a pristine white backdrop, were a pair of beautifully polished chopsticks. They looked to be made of cherry tree bark and inlaid with an intricate mother-of-pearl design. Accompanying the chopsticks was a stone rest cut into the shape of a white dog. It was a beautiful and yet useful gift and, Kagome realized, her blush rising even more, she would be reminded of Sesshoumaru's kiss every time she raised the ends of the chopsticks to her lips. Of course, she would have to be bold enough _to _use them first. These, much like the one who gifted them, would not go unnoticed by those around her.

Carefully putting the chopsticks away, Kagome picked up the white blossom, bringing it to her cheek and rubbing the flower against her skin. She stood, mindful of those still sleeping, and moved towards the doorway. Pushing aside the mat that covered the door, she looked out into the dawning day and saw Sesshoumaru waiting for her, an impassive expression on his face. Immediately she smiled at him, all her joy rushing forth, and stepped outside, heedless of the fact that she was still in her yukata and barefoot. "You came back."

At that, Sesshoumaru raised a singular brow. Then his eyes combed over her disheveled appearance. Kagome immediately felt embarrassed and turned to go back inside to dress, but he was by her side in the blink of an eye. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her as close as he could without having her touch his armor. "You must be cold," he said as he easily lifted her bare feet off the ground.

Kagome automatically braced her hands on his shoulders as he brought her to eye level with himself and moved his hands to hold her comfortably. "I haven't felt it yet," she whispered in return.

"Come with me."

Kagome didn't think, her mind still filled with flowers and chopsticks. She merely nodded her head and held on.

*IWFY*

Moving with Sesshoumaru was entirely different than it was with Inuyasha. If the daiyoukai changed course or touched the ground, she wasn't even aware of it. Encased in the warmth of his arms and the feel of his youki, it was as if she were floating in a bubble that not even the chill of winter dared to penetrate. When they finally came to a standstill, Sesshoumaru slowly lowered her feet back to the ground and it took her a moment to regain her bearings and reign in her wandering thoughts.

Absentmindedly smelling the sweet scent of the white flower still clutched in her hands, Kagome looked around her and found Sesshoumaru had brought her to a sheltered glen. The overhanging trees had prevented most of the snow from touching the ground and the winds were barred from entering there by the thick standing of trees. Even lightly dressed as she was, the cold air was hardly a problem at all.

Her perusal of their surroundings done, Kagome had no other option but to look back towards the daiyoukai. As soon as she did, she was aware of her blush returning. "Why?" he asked, his fingertips tracing across her cheeks as he did.

"You unsettle me," she admitted.

"How?"

"By being you," Kagome answered without thinking. "There's just so much of you." At his look of surprise, Kagome found herself tripping over her own tongue. She turned away from him, pacing as she spoke. It was easier to voice her thoughts when she wasn't looking directly at him. "I…I was thinking that perhaps we could be friends now and then this! I never even knew you thought of me as more than a flea in your sight and now you're telling me you're going to court me? This is all really, really more than a little overwhelming. And what about Inuyasha?"

She found her pacing stopped suddenly as Sesshoumaru lightly grasped her shoulders, turning her to face him again. "And what of Inuyasha? Do you have feelings towards the hanyou?"

His hold was loose enough that, by simply raising her hands, Kagome broke free. She stepped back, slightly irritated to have her ramblings interrupted over something so silly. Was he jealous? "He's my best friend," she reminded him briskly. "Of course I feel something towards him! But Inuyasha is not the issue here. What's the issue is the fact that you've turned my entire world upside down in a matter of days!"

Kagome took a deep breath, prepared to continue speaking her mind, and then suddenly deflated, all her energy rushing out of her. "I'm just so confused right now," she confessed, bowing her head as shame rose within her over how forlorn her voice sounded.

Immediately Sesshoumaru moved forward. Even though she wanted space, Kagome found herself leaning into the protection and warmth he offered. "This one...," she heard Sesshoumaru say above her head. "Has long carried attachments towards you. And I shall carry these desires for eternity, no matter how you feel within yourself, my miko. Youkai do not change often, but, when we do, the change is absolute."

Kagome raised her head to look into Sesshoumaru's face and found herself drowning in his gaze. Feeling her heart pounding faster in reaction to the look in his eyes, she averted her own, which moved down to his lips. Subconsciously, Kagome licked hers.

When Sesshoumaru made no move forward, Kagome took the initiative upon herself and rose on her tip toes to meet his advanced height. Brushing her lips lightly upon his once, she came back for more and found herself engulfed in a blazing heat as he took her offering and devoured it.

a/n: My thanks to Lord Randall's Lady for beta-ing and for help with researching flowers.


	10. Moments in Time

**Moments in Time**

Kagome felt like a wayward child as she entered the still-waking village from her tryst with Sesshoumaru. At her insistence, Sesshoumaru had returned her to the outskirts of the village despite his obvious reluctance to leave her there. Unfortunately luck wasn't on her side this morning. Her plans for a quiet entrance failed dismally as she only made it a few steps before Inuyasha appeared.

He landed before her, snow flying up around them from his entrance. In his hands he clutched her shoes and his face was twisted with anger. His eyes darted around, looking for any threats as he sniffed the air. "Kagome," he growled, his voice a mixture of anger and relief.

She snatched her shoes from him, hurrying to put them on her feet as she doubted this conversation would be as brief as she'd like it to be. "Inuyasha," she said with false cheer, fighting against the urge to look behind her and make sure Sesshoumaru truly was gone. Guilt swelled within her, but she knocked it aside. By the Kami, there was nothing she had to be feeling guilty about! "Thanks for my shoes. What are you doing up so early?"

He looked less than convinced by her performance, dislike written across his face. "Where have you been, Kagome?"

"Out," she answered lightly. "I've been out."

Inuyasha shifted his stance, his eyes accusing. "And who the _fuck _were you out _with_?"

In the space of a heartbeat, Kagome debated her answer to such a question. There was no way in hell she could pursue a relationship with Sesshoumaru and not include the life she had now. There was no way happiness on such a front could be gained without blending in evenly the way things were now. Oh, she knew there would be hardships and grievousness, but she just had to believe that everything would work out in the end. "I was with Sesshoumaru."

"And what did you _do_ with him?"

Kagome stiffened at the unsaid accusations riddling Inuyasha's tone. "That's none of your business, Inuyasha."

As if her answer surprised him, as if he hadn't already smelled Sesshoumaru all over her, Inuyasha stuttered and took a step back. His mouth opened to form an opinion and then quickly snapped shut once more. It opened again and Kagome prepared herself for the incoming tirade, but once again he shut it without comment. "He's courting me," she continued, feeling as if she were driving the nail into the coffin. She held up the white flower, which had miraculously survived her encounter with Sesshoumaru, and sniffed it delicately. "He's courting me," she said again, more strongly than before.

"Courting you?" Inuyasha finally choked out, struggling to form those words as he did. "That fucking bastard-"

"Is a different man than you know," Kagome defended, her ire raised. She snapped her head upwards, proud to be who she was and proud to be where she had been. "You, Inuyasha," she said, dragging out his name in a way she knew would grate upon his hearing, "Never did anything. I loved you for longer than I knew possible. I gave everything I had and nothing seemed to be enough."

"You never fucking asked me to do anything, Kagome!"

"Ugghh!" she screamed out of pure frustration, the bewildered look on his face only serving to anger her more. _Are all men this clueless?_ He was acting as if he'd never known how she felt about him. "I shouldn't have had to!"

A heavy silence descended. Kagome glared at Inuyasha as he glared back. The tension was intense but somehow strangely satisfying. "A girl can only take so much," she finally said, breaking the quiet. "Before she accepts that something will not ever be and moves on."

"To Sesshoumaru? What in the hell about him can you fucking like? He's a fucking cold-hearted bastard."

"That's enough, Inuyasha!"

"Kago-."

"No," she interrupted, cutting him off. "You did nothing and yet someone who cared, someone who wanted to be where I placed you, stepped forward. Sesshoumaru," she clarified, both hating and loving the flinch that crossed her long time friend's face at the mention of his brother's name. "He waited patiently for me all this time. He even came to me in the well when I was struggling most. It was because of _him _that I was able to hold on, to stay strong. So I damn well will give him a chance, Inuyasha!"

She had to admit in the darkest part of herself that there was something pleasing about watching Inuyasha struggle through this. It had been so long, during the years of their search for jewel shards, where she'd dealt with the same things he now was. Karma truly was a bitch-but a fair one, at least to her at this time- to bring this back on him. "And you have nothing to say on this," Kagome concluded, straightening her spine as she did. "Nothing."

*IWFY*

Several hours later Kagome found herself cornered by Sango. She should have, honestly, expected this. It was in Inuyasha's nature to speak with Miroku, after all, when something bothered him…even if he took his own sweet time to do so. And naturally Miroku would share whatever concerns he had with his wife. "No kids today?" Kagome noted lightly, looking around for any hiding children.

"Miroku has taken them out," Sango answered with a smile, her joy for the life she had now shining through. "He is so good with them."

"And you doubted he would be?"

"Never."

They shared a secret smile before Sango remembered herself and why she was there. "Kagome," she began, using a tone that reminded Kagome of her own mother.

"Sango," Kagome replied, keeping her own tone even as well. As much as she didn't want to discuss this right now, she knew Sango wouldn't let it go. "If you are here on Inuyasha's behalf, he's old enough to speak for himself."

"I am not here because of Inuyasha," Sango replied patiently. "And I am not here because Miroku has concerns, either. I am here because _I _question this."

"Really? And why is that?" Kagome asked, trying to keep the pique she was beginning to feel from showing. This was Sango, after all; the one who'd seen her through many relationship troubles in the past. Her friend caring about who she was seeing shouldn't make her angry.

Sango took a deep, clarifying breath before she answered. "Because it is Sesshoumaru, Kagome."

"And?" Kagome pressed, determined to dig straight down to whatever bottom her best female friend seemed to want to reach. There had to be more of an argument to Sango's case than who her…male interest…was. Sango wasn't that shallow.

"I know youkai," Sango answered. "I was taught about them from the day of my birth. I know more about true youkai than you ever will, Kagome."

"Yes. You know how to kill them."

Sango sent her a disapproving glance. "That is unfair."

Kagome had to give in to that. Even though her words were true, they were still wrongly said. For some reason, though, her defenses were flaring. "I'm sorry," Kagome replied, hanging her head. "But I see the world differently than you and I see Sesshoumaru differently from you, too."

"You have always viewed everything differently, Kagome. It was one of the things I found so endearing about you and you have changed my own life more than you will ever know. But this is a step in a direction you have never gone before. You are walking into territory you know _nothing_ about. Youkai are not like us. Some may look human, but they have entirely different lifestyles, different values. Have you forgotten who, exactly, Sesshoumaru is? Have you forgotten everything he has done?"

At that, Kagome raised her head once more. "No," she answered readily. "I haven't. Have you?"

"Kagome, I just don't want you to be hurt any more than you already have. I love you. You are the sister I never had and have always been there for me. I just want to return the favor and be here for you now."

"To tell me not to give Sesshoumaru a chance?" she asked, disbelief lacing her voice. "He was _there _for me, Sango. When all seemed lost, when all seemed unreachable, he was there."

Sango sighed, her body losing the tension it had held. "Kagome, Sesshoumaru may seem like someone to make a connection with. He may put on a front now. But think of more than the present. Can you live as he does? Can you act like him? Because that is what it would take to survive in a youkai world and if you mate yourself with him that is the world you would be in. Youkai do not involve humans in their affairs. You would be considered an outsider for the rest of your life."

Post a/n: much love to my beta, LordRandallslady…she makes my insanity more real


	11. Searching for Guidance

**Searching for Guidance**

A lull came in Winter's embrace, the snow receding and the soggy ground showing itself. Even the constant chill in the air seemed to ease: allowing those who'd been held in its constant grip a moment of relief, a fleeting reminder that those warmer days would soon be upon them.

Kagome had not spoken again about Sesshoumaru with her friends and they had returned the favor. It was as if Sango sensed she was still undecided, still new to the idea, and was backing off with only carefully guarded looks to let Kagome know that she was there—if needed. Even Inuyasha had held his tongue, though Kagome could tell that the hanyou had plenty left to say on the subject.

Sesshoumaru had come to see her twice more since that time. His visitations had been brief, though, and normally kept them within sight of the village. Kagome knew that the daiyoukai was aware of Inuyasha watching them. Yet he acted with her as he always had. Sesshoumaru spoke to her as if she were the only being around and always left her with a soft kiss on her cheek or lips as dark promises smoldered in his golden eyes.

With this break from winter, though, Kagome felt the urge to move, to travel, and she knew exactly where she wished to go. After announcing her decision to Kaede, who agreed with her plans, arrangements were made. Inuyasha was more than willing to accompany her on her travels—for ulterior motives Kagome was sure.

They left before most were even awake. Their steps were steady, since this route they'd traveled before, and they had only to camp one night before reaching Jinenji's home. When they arrived both of them were welcomed as long time friends, brought into the small home of the hanyou and his mother, and given a homemade warmed Saki. Shortly after their arrival, Inuyasha, in his usual manner, gruffly excused himself to go and sit alone outside. This left Kagome alone with the other hanyou and his mother, but how to approach the subject she'd travel to speak about?

Sango's words had been ringing in her mind, but Kagome hadn't had balls, for lack of a better word description, to speak of her concerns to Sesshoumaru himself. What—or who, actually—she needed was someone who had gone through this before. Unfortunately, those few that she knew of were long dead…with the exception of Jinenji's mother. Finally she just decided to be straightforward with her questions. "If…if you had to do it all over again," she asked, gaining Jinenji's and his mother's attention, "Fall in love and be with your youkai, I mean. Would you?"

Jinenji's mother looked surprised by her question, at first, and then a twinkle came to her eye. It was the same look Kagome had seen in her own mother's eyes when remembrances of her husband came to mind. "Of course I would."

"But wasn't it hard? Being between two worlds…"

"Only if you let it be. Oh, my youkai loved me well and gave me someone I would die for," she answered, looking towards Jinenji. "I miss him every day."

Kagome had never asked why she wasn't still with the youkai who'd loved her. She'd never thought it her business to know their past. But now, now that it mattered to her, Kagome wanted to know almost desperately _why_ the youkai, who naturally had a lifeline that surpassed a human's a thousand times, wasn't still there. He obviously hadn't abandoned his love and child. "Where he is now, if I may ask?"

"Oh dead and gone, child," the older woman answered, sadness dimming the life in her eyes a bit.

Kagome hated to press upon a painful memory, but she needed to know. "May I ask how he died?"

"You know, you are very nosey right now."

"I don't mean to be," she offered, apologetically. "It's just that I need to know."

"Ah," Jinenji's mother replied as a sly smile spread across her wizened face. "Some youkai has gone and swept you off your feet and you have come to me looking for answers, huh?"

"You could say it like that, if you'd like."

"I do say it like that." She turned, looking towards her son for a moment before bringing her eyes back to Kagome. "Come with me, child. There's work to be done even in the dead of winter."

*IWFY*

They walked outside together, the older woman bracing herself against the cold as she felt the chill in ways Kagome didn't. They wandered to the edge of the herb garden, the older woman looking over her shoulder to where Inuyasha was perched. "He will still hear us here, but I do not think you mind."

Kagome wanted to protest that, but found she couldn't. "No, I don't mind."

The older woman knelt down before a space that would soon blossom with life and began digging her hands into the rich earth, loosening the hard-packed soil. Kagome followed her actions and they settled into a comfortable silence. The rich scent of freshly turned earth filled the air, aiding the promise for warmer days. "You asked if I would do it all over again," Jinenji's mother finally reiterated after a long moment of silence.

"I did," Kagome confirmed as she worked over a fresh patch of hard-packed earth.

"And my answer is yes, but not everyone is as blessed as we were."

"But he's not here with you now."

"True," the older woman confirmed. "But we loved well while we had each other."

"And you wouldn't trade a moment, even after he died, for another type of life?"

"Child," she replied, stopping her work as she did. Her aged eyes met Kagome's and her face settled into a look Kagome recognized as one her own mother had worn several times. It made Kagome wish she had her mother there so very much. "You love or you do not. You take or you do not. You grow with what you are given and sprout from there. Even if I knew I would lose him tomorrow, I would do it all over again."

"Truly?"

"Of course! What would life offer me in any other way? Oh, I have seen how the girls grew up around me and I would not trade my life for anything else. Not even to escape the hardships after he passed."

"How did he die?"

"Murdered," Jinenji's mom answered briefly, turning away as she did. "Others of his kind did not agree to our union and he died protecting Jinenji and me."

This rang too closely to Inuyasha's father and Izayoi for Kagome's safety of mind. "And there was nothing that you could do?"

"There is nothing that I would have been allowed to do," she corrected. "You have to understand the world you enter before you dare take a step, child. It is not like anything you know. The strong preys upon the weak, yes, but in a far different way than you know. Any weakness makes a youkai vulnerable to attack and you—yes you—would be considered a weakness. So whatever youkai has entranced you, he knows well what he brings down upon himself. Believe me. He has thought it through."

Thinking of Sesshoumaru, Kagome could not see him _not _thinking anything through to the last outcome. But would _she _be strong enough? If they reached a point of parting, could she be as brave as this woman before her?

The older woman interrupted her thoughts with a sharp jab of her elbow, a girlish twinkle in her eye that hadn't been there before. "So tell me, little miko. Has your youkai kissed you yet?"

Kagome's blush was telling and made the older woman cackle with youthful deliciousness.

*IWFY*

They left Jinenji's the next day with apologies for the short visitation. Kagome's travel pack, thanks to Jinenji, was overloaded with healing herbs that the village had been running short on and she kept adjusting the weight, hoping the heavy load would settle. Inuyasha walked silently beside her, his ears twitching for any attacks and his hands hidden within the sleeves of his clothing. Yet she knew the hanyou would react to any threat in a moment's notice, his sword never far from his fingertips.

Kagome was content with the silence as they walked, but the hanyou apparently was not as he gruffly spoke, keeping his eyes on the horizon as he did. "So what are you going to do?"

Kagome glanced at him from the side of her eyes, trying to judge what thoughts might be circulating in Inuyasha's mind. "About what?" she asked innocently.

That earned her a hard glance before the hanyou straightened his line of sight once more. "You know what I'm talking about, Kagome."

Kagome sighed and looked away. "You should really talk to Sesshoumaru about this," she heard him mutter a second later.

"I should," Kagome agreed. _But I don't know how word it, _Kagome added silently.

"Fucker has been following us for past day anyway. I wager he'll be popping out of the bushes at any moment. Damn annoying. I can fucking protect you just as well as he would."

At that, Kagome blushed. Sesshoumaru had been there all along? Had he heard her conversation with Jinenji's mother? And why hadn't she sensed his presence? Perhaps her mind had been too focused on other things…

Her eyes cased their surroundings, her heartbeat speeding up at the thought of seeing Sesshoumaru again. But what would she say? What had the daiyoukai overheard? Damn Inuyasha for not telling her sooner! "Of course you can protect me, Inuyasha," Kagome replied automatically. Hadn't Inuyasha kept her alive throughout the whole Naraku debacle? His level of devotion to those he considered friends was something Kagome would argue for to her dying breath—no matter whatever other short-comings she thought her hanyou friend might have. "But why didn't you tell me that you knew Sesshoumaru was nearby?"

At that question, Inuyasha stopped and turned towards her. Kagome followed suit, her blue eyes meeting his soft ambers. He stared at her for a full minute, his face as serious as she'd ever seen it, before letting out a puff of air. "Keh. There shouldn't be any secrets, Kagome."

A/n: As there seemed to be some confusion on dokuga_lj when I posted this, Inuyasha's ending comment addresses both the fact that Kagome was concerned about not realizing Sesshoumaru was there when she spoke with Jinenji's mother and the fact that Sesshoumaru concealed his presence from her.


	12. Give and Take

**Give and Take**

Sesshoumaru met up with her and Inuyasha as they settled down for the evening, walking into their campsite as if he belonged there. And that seemed to be true, as only she was surprised by his suddenly striding forward until his very presence surrounded her entirely.

Kagome faced the daiyoukai, her heart beating a thousand miles a minute. It wasn't just his innate beauty that set her heart to racing. No. It was more than that. His very character entreated her. Yet her mind seemed suddenly so reluctant to take him on even though her body and soul wanted to oh-so very much. Why was she being such a coward? This just wasn't like her! Always she'd embraced every decision she'd ever made wholeheartedly. "Sesshoumaru," she whispered as the daiyoukai seemed to be waiting for a response from her.

"Kagome," he replied, with a slight dipping of his head.

So much respect given in such a simple movement, the weight of it bore down upon her and Kagome fought the rising urge of panic within her. She turned and looked over her shoulder to where Inuyasha stood. The hanyou looked impatient, as if he wanted to hurry things along or be somewhere else entirely.

"You doubt," Sesshoumaru stated clearly, stealing all thoughts concerning Inuyasha away.

Kagome began to say that she didn't, to argue the fact, but she knew it was truth and refused to lie. She _did _doubt. Even if the doubt was only a small part of her it was there, but how to explain? How to make him understand it wasn't _him _she had doubts about, but herself? "I did," she answered, "But it was never you that cast that shadow. I doubted myself. I did not think I was strong enough to take on what you offered."

"And what did this one offer that seemed so hard to bear?"

His voice had been lowered, as if he wanted to keep his brother from hearing him, and Kagome realized how hard this had to be for Sesshoumaru to do in front of an audience. She turned and looked towards Inuyasha. "May we have a moment?" she asked lightly, as if nothing at all were wrong.

Both brothers knew how full of shit she was…

Inuyasha turned hard eyes to her and then looked to his brother. Kagome was amazed when the look in them softened somehow, as if Inuyasha were feeling whatever pain she was visiting upon Sesshoumaru. "Keh. Whatever," he said after a minute. Then he jumped off into the surrounding trees and Kagome lost track of him.

She turned back to Sesshoumaru and watched the daiyoukai, who seemed to pay more attention to his younger brother's movements than before. When she saw his facial features relax minutely, she knew Inuyasha was beyond his hearing. "I'm confused," Kagome said, trying to explain. "A little lost. Well, more than a little it seems."

Sesshoumaru took her hands into his own, bringing her fingers up to his mouth. He kissed them gently, the pressure of his lips upon her skin scalding her with retribution for her doubts. Kagome closed her eyes against the sensations he rose within her. "I…I can't…"

At her words, Sesshoumaru felt his heart stall. Had it all been for nothing? Had he laid himself open only to be rejected? No, he would not believe that. The miko herself had said she was only confused, lost. Perhaps he could guide her through this. "You cannot?" he prodded, wishing for her to finish her sentence so that he might understand the pathway of her thinking.

Sesshoumaru pulled her against him when she said nothing, eager for the feel and smell of her and to remind her that he was there. He did not feel right, did not feel whole, when not by her side. It had been this way since the beginning, but he had almost realized this too late and, since her return into his life, he had never thought of his future without her. Sesshoumaru recalled the taste of her upon his lips, the way her body molded to his, and he silently renewed his vow to find and keep her. "You cannot feel me? You cannot see how much this one treasures you?"

"I do," she admitted willingly with no hesitation.

"Then what is the difficulty?"

"It's me," Kagome tried to explain again, knowing she was failing. The right words were there in her mind, but they just weren't coming to her tongue.

It felt as if an eternity passed as he stood before her, his mind not being able to grasp what exactly the miko was telling him. She doubted, but not him? She could, but she could not? She said it was her, but nothing was registering as being amiss through his senses. Knowing it would be best if distance were placed between them for the moment; he released her hands and moved away. It was times like these, when things seemed clouded, when the best choice to make was removal of oneself. This would enable clearer thinking.

His decision made, Sesshoumaru gave a slight bow of his head. "Good evening then, miko," he said in parting. Then he turned and walked away.

'NO!' Kagome wanted to shout. Instead all she could do was stand there and watch as he left.

*IWFY*

Somehow, some way, Kagome found herself in the village wrapped in Sango's tight embrace. "Stop crying, Kagome," her friend pleaded. "Everything will be okay."

It wasn't until Sango had stated that she was crying that Kagome realized she was. She reached up and wiped tears away that were soon replaced by others. "I screwed up," she said between breaths, fighting against the tears that didn't want to stop. "He's gone."

"If Sesshoumaru truly loves you, he will come back," Sango quickly tried to assure her, throwing out all her previous arguments against a human and youkai mating. If it would help heal her friend, help bring Kagome relief from whatever pain she was going through, Sango swore she would profess _anything_. She wasn't even entirely sure what in the hell was going on—getting nothing from Inuyasha before his abrupt leaving and Kagome only crying nonsense for the past several hours.

As heartfelt as her friend's words seemed, Kagome wasn't so sure it was as easily fixed as that. Sesshoumaru had left her…just left her. That mask she'd grown so use to seeing on his face during the hunt for Naraku had slipped into place and it was as if she were not looking at the youkai she'd come to know but some _other _entity. It was as if he'd sliced her from his being and mind and she was no more. "I'm sorry," Kagome said as she distanced herself. "I need to go now."

Kagome left Sango's home even though she'd never realized she'd made it there and Sango obviously didn't want her to leave. Her footsteps stumbled and she hated the troubled looks sent her way. This was personal pain, something she did not want to share.

Automatically, Kagome turned towards the direction of the well and it was there her feet carried her. She was both surprised and not to find Inuyasha waiting for her.

His warm amber eyes looked at her and Kagome sunk into their depths. He had always been her backbone, always been there when no one else had. Kagome rushed at him, welcoming his arms as he wrapped them around her and let her cry her eyes out into his haori. "I knew you'd eventually end up here," he said gruffly.

His words only made her cry more and, for once, Inuyasha just let her be a 'weak human', as he had once been so fond of calling her. He said nothing, his arms only tightening the harder she cried.

Kagome stayed there, wrapped in his embrace, until there were no more tears to cry. It took time, as each breath brought a new remembrance to the forefront of her mind. By the time she pulled away, the sun had started its pathway down the sky. "I'm sorry, Inuyasha," she sniffled, apologizing for her behavior.

"Keh," Inuyasha answered roughly, not making eye-contact with her as the situation clearly unsettled him. "You've got nothing to apologize to me about."

"I was such a bitch about this to you," Kagome continued, ignoring his words. "I said things wrongly."

"Whatever. You spoke the truth. I never did anything. I just kept depending upon you and thinking things would stay the same no matter what. You were right when you said I had no right to speak on this fuckin' shit with Sesshoumaru."

At the mentioning of the daiyoukai's name, Kagome felt her eyes swelling up again. She turned her head away, squeezing her eyes shut to try and gain control once more. Inuyasha waited patiently for her to do so. Once he was sure she had control of herself again, he gave her another reassuring squeeze. "I might not seem like I am, but I've been listening to you, Kagome. I've always listened. And…and I know you need something more than I can give. If it's fuckin' Sesshoumaru, then I guess I can learn to work around that."

"He's not going to come back," Kagome persisted in saying despite her amazement over Inuyasha's sudden turnabout. This had been the echoing thought since Sesshoumaru's abrupt departure after her dismal attempt at explaining herself and it refused to let go of her.

"Ah, what the fuck ever, Kagome," Inuyasha replied, obviously irritated with her suddenly low self-esteem. "Fuck-face would be a retard," he continued, using one of Souta's favorite insults that he'd picked up over the years, "To leave you behind."

*IWFY*

Kagome left Inuyasha, promising she just needed a bit more time to herself before returning to the village, and let her feet carry her once more. She felt slightly renewed after her talk with him and wondered what had brought on this sudden bout of maturity in the hanyou.

Before she knew it, she found herself the very clearing where Sesshoumaru had first confronted her after her return to this era. Her eyes began to mist over with tears again and Kagome stomped her foot with self-irritation. "No, Kagome," she told herself aloud. "You're done crying."

"The odor _is_ rather unbecoming."

Kagome gasped and spun around, her eyes still wanting to cry but halted by the sound of his voice. Sesshoumaru stood with his back to the evening horizon, haloed by the red sun, and Kagome had to stop herself from rushing to his side. She wasn't sure if she still had that right. Perhaps Sesshoumaru had decided she wasn't worth all her human emotion and had come to do the honorable thing and tell her so? "You came back."

At that statement, he raised a slender brow. "This one has invested much of himself in finding you again, Kagome. I would not let such a weak statement drive me away." Sesshoumaru paused, his eyes staring into her own once more. "I thought that perhaps an interlude would aid in the clearing of minds. For this one, that was so."

Hope coursed through her veins at his words. "How?" Kagome asked, wanting to hear him speak.

He regarded her silently and then sighed, the sound so slight Kagome would never have heard it if she wasn't paying such close attention. Would he indulge her?

"I vowed to find you again, miko."

"Kagome," she interrupted.

A slight twisting of his lips, an indulging smile meant only for her, graced his face as Sesshoumaru took a step towards her. There was barely any space between them now and Kagome felt her heart thumping loudly in her chest. She wondered if the daiyoukai could hear it and knew he was the cause for its racing. "Kagome," he conceded, a shiver racing through her as he said her name.

She dared to reach forward then, to place her hands upon him. Sesshoumaru did not move away, did not rebuff her contact. Instead he erased the rest of the space between them, his own arms wrapping around her to hold her close. He leaned down and buried his nose within her hair, taking her scent deep within his lungs and exhaling slowly. "I vowed to know all of you and am prepared to take a lifetime to do so," he continued after a moment. "You will never be tossed so lightly aside and I apologize for leaving you with such impressions. I admit to feeling despair when I thought you rejected my suit and so separated myself from the situation before I did something…regrettable."

"I was stupid earlier and I'm sorry," Kagome rushed to say, wanting to shoulder the blame for her own actions. "I don't know what came over me. I've always trusted in my own decisions and suddenly I was letting everything else around affect me and I didn't want to tell you what I was thinking, but I did."

She stopped her rambling speech, taking a deep breath to calm her racing tongue. When she began to speak again her voice was softer yet stronger. "My mother always told me relationships were about give and take and I thought I understood what she was saying. I thought I understood what Jinenji's mother tried to tell me, too. Obviously I didn't, but I would like to learn first-hand what experience has already taught them."

Though the daiyoukai said nothing, merely ran his hand up to her cheek and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, Kagome found herself to be as comforted by his silence as she would have been by words. She felt forgiven. She felt whole. She felt loved.

a/n: My thanks to Lrdrandallslady for her advice. This might never have ended if she hadn't been there to yell at me.


	13. Beginning of the End

**Beginning of the End**

Kagome stared across the expansive valley before for. Her eyes saw both the future and past within the scene before her and a part of her was saddened that what was here now would not be in the future—save the part of Inuyasha's forest preserved around her family's shrine. Was that some play made by herself or had some distant member of her family done that?

Shaking her head against the mind-turning logistics involved in her current line of thinking, Kagome cleared her brain of those things and smiled to herself. Sesshoumaru was due to come and see her again today, after all.

"Now is the winter of our discontent…," she said aloud, remembering her schooling from literature and quoting the famous—in her time—William Shakespeare. And truly it had been a winter of discontent, personally, but the sun shining upon her now. The winter snows had passed and brought with their death the warmth of the sun…which led to the fertility of the soil and the hopes and dreams of the lower masses. Little did they know her own dreams were embodied and expelled during this time as well.

There had been so much she'd gone through—and not her alone. All of them had grown and moved because of her simple decisions and now, more than ever before, Kagome was aware that even her own actions, no matter how slight, held such great sway upon the very facts of life. Though she'd been altering history for years with her travels though the well, she'd never realized just how much influence she exposed until this situation with Sesshoumaru.

But everything felt right…everything felt as if it were suppose to be.

The cloud that had previously been passing over the sun moved on and Kagome closed her eyes against the brightness offered. She breathed in the clean air, wishing so much she could share this vision with her family in the future.

At her back she felt the familiarity she'd become accustomed to over time and leaned back confident. Her shoulders came into contact with the firmness of Sesshoumaru's body and the rest of her relaxed from there on. Behind her, Sesshoumaru dipped his head to sniff gently at the fragrance of her body. "What would you do if it were not I?" he asked, as he took her scent deep within himself.

"Purify his ass," Kagome answered automatically as she turned to face the daiyoukai. "But I could never think of another as you."

Though his face appeared as infallible as always, Kagome had come to learn the tiny nuances involved with him. It was all about the little things, after all. Sesshoumaru was more than pleased by her answer and Kagome was more than happy because those were her honest words. "How in the world could you think I'd mistake someone else for you?" she questioned.

The daiyoukai had no opinion on the matter, his lips as sealed as always. Instead he seemed more intent upon exploring the depths and tastes of her mouth as he leaned forward to lay claim to her mouth.

Kagome broke away from the heated contact of his kiss to once more face the scenery before her. "Whatever lays ahead," she said as she felt his arms wrap around her, "We will face it together. Beginner's luck is on our side."

Though he knew not what this beginner's luck was, Sesshoumaru chalked it up to being something from her time. Still, he understood enough to know basically what the miko was speaking of. "Yes," he agreed as he buried his face within the mass of her unbound hair to lay his lips against the smoothness of her neck. "Together. This one has finally found you again."

_Finish._

a/n: Yes, it's over! Thank you to everyone for all your support and comments. Extra special thanks to LordRandallsLady for being my beta through most of this and for her unending aid. She let me bounce a lot of BS across her palate so that I could come up with something that worked. This wasn't suppose to turn into a chapter fic, but I am kind of glad that it did. Until next time, LC


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